Two Woman March

So. Much. Chatter. It is not just me right? Do you feel it? Tuning out the noise and staying focused on anything has been a challenge. Look around. The world. Everyday life. The sound of silence is a rare find yet is exactly what is needed more than anything else.

Regular readers of my blog may have noticed it has been a few weeks since anything new has been posted. Noise. Life. My self-imposed schedule and deadlines got kicked to the curb and protecting my own peace prevailed. Also, I have been busy helping Yvette with her upcoming show, Moving Through, in February.

Mixed in with the very thoughtful choice of self-preservation is the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing” philosophy. Don’t worry. It passed. Change is afoot and we all feel it looming. Changes to the program triggers emotions which require us to tread carefully as we move forward.

The lingering election fatigue and the inauguration of a new president is an obvious trigger but is not the only source of rising anxiety in our lives. For weeks we have been constantly inundated with opinions and exposed to rising conflict and increasing animosity.

In my book I discuss the pitfalls associated with making decisions when emotions are running at a fever pitch. I also talk about the real problem of fear in our lives. Fear rising is loud and chaotic. Currently, the level of fear is rising, palpable, and suffocating many on a variety of fronts.

Do I think it is a great time to be a lesbian woman, insured under the Affordable Care Act? Hell no, it is not. Am I allowed to feel angry the next four years may bring many changes that are not ideal? Hell yes, I am. Do I feel fearful for the future? Certainly.

So what do we do now? Plenty. Let’s face it. Getting worked up over something is easy. The line between passion and emotionally reacting is often blurry. Becoming angry requires little effort. It is one of the more popular feelings on the feeling wheel for a reason. Anger is contagious and can bring out the worst in people.

Our responses when our fears get triggered are different and depends on our personalities, resources, and overall philosophy about life. Those who are self-aware have come to understand that anger is a surface emotion.

Confusing anger with passion is a common practice. Emotions often spark passion. Passionate people are powerful but fear wipes out our power.

Being able to step back and examine the source of the anger is a learned skill. A skill most forgotten in the moment of upset. Anger itself if not a bad thing because emotions are neither good nor bad however what we do with that emotion after the fact can be.

Some march in protest. Others donate time, talent, or money. Whatever the approach, success is impossible when fear disguised as anger is on the forefront. Inspiration, for any reason, is not possible when we are afraid. Of anything.

Protecting my family, business, and right to be who I am is a priority. This priority did not change just because our government leadership changed or my wife got cancer.

In the midst of large changes it is easy to forget the small picture. As I write, there is a Women’s March happening all over the world. It is amazing, inspiring, and awesome. Period. My wife and I did not attend our local rally because we were both working this weekend. I admit feeling a little guilty for not taking part in the Women’s Rally in Orlando.

I just opened my own real estate brokerage and had a meeting with a new client this morning. When I returned home we watched the crowds gathering and growing on television. By not attending, she felt like we were not doing enough to support the cause.

I tossed out the idea of walking up and down the street holding signs. Our own “Two Woman March” idea got a chuckle but did not happen. It is well known she is the activist in our house and always willing to fight tooth and nail for justice and equality. I love this about her.

She asked me what we were doing to forward the cause. I told her we were raising three young men to believe and embrace the very thing every woman out in the streets today were marching for. I reminded her that every day we were living openly as gay women, spreading the message of love, being fearless, and living authentically.

Holding hands as we walk through the mall on Inauguration day, despite the stares, is doing our part in the movement. Being women who own our own businesses adds to the cause.

Our contribution may not get us up on a stage but our commitment to practice what we preach and willingness to do what we can in our small part of the world is important. Preserving our peace and doing everything we can to stay healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically is imperative.

This week I encourage you to find ways to reduce the unnecessary hum and noise swirling everywhere. Learn new ways to center yourself. Commit to being calm when everyone around you may be losing their shit.

Reacting to fear is only one choice available. Instead process the fear and embrace the opportunity to learn and grow. Go deeper and notice the energy surrounding your own thoughts and adjust as needed. When possible, remove yourself from situations that are creating unnecessary stress or chaos. Listen to your gut. Make peace a priority and the possibilities will begin to make themselves known.

If these suggestions seem impossible or overwhelming, you are not alone. Start with love. Start with yourself and go from there. There is much work to be done not only on a global scale, but with ourselves. If we want to change the world, this step cannot be skipped. Here’s to passion and progress!