Moving Through Shame

What is shame? Where does it come from? How can it be overcome? Is it possible to live authentically if shame is in the picture? For most, answering these loaded questions is not easy or fun. Understanding the nature of shame and how it presents itself in daily life is a complicated process. Feelings of … Read more

Kicking the Cat

The rising hum of anger and discontent is hard to ignore lately. The upcoming election is getting to all of us in one way or another. My political views are not something I make a habit of sharing publicly and today is no exception. However, I will offer some insight about the possibility that fear … Read more

Grab Your Cape

The process of planning my “Be Fearless Weekend” is in full swing. I am lining up speakers, creating the material to present, and getting all of my ducks in a row. Although it is four months away, I know the time will sail by and be here before I know it. The moment when I … Read more

My Previous Life

Soon I will be celebrating the 16 year anniversary of my 29th birthday. Actually, tomorrow. I know my day will include a phone call from my dad recounting his fond memories of the day I was born. This ritual is one I look forward to all year. I also know that no surprises are waiting … Read more

Own Your No

Here is a question. How many of you have heard the phrase “setting boundaries” before? I have a sneaking suspicion few have not. I have heard it mentioned on numerous occasions throughout my lifetime, usually while sitting in the therapist’s office or watching Dr. Phil on OWN. What exactly does this mean? Or more importantly, … Read more

Love Your Body

It is natural to feel afraid when a relationship ends. When a marriage ends, everything changes. Entering the dating world is not something most look forward to. The process of learning about a new person and opening up is scary enough on its own. New beginnings bring their own special version of fear to the … Read more

Who’s the Man?

Now that I have your attention, the answer is no one. That is the point of being a lesbian and a good intro for a discussion about how we see ourselves. Do you remember the moment when you first concerned yourself with what other people thought about you? Or became aware of judgments about who … Read more

Coming Out Again

I have a confession to make. Since Switching Teams was published, part of my daily routine includes reading the messages and emails from readers. Many thank me for writing and sharing my story about coming out later in life and many more ask me for advice or share their own stories with me. I am … Read more

Love Me Do

Here we go. Again. Loving yourself. This is my favorite subject. I harp on it constantly because it is that important. There are plenty of topics out there calling to me for consideration, yet I choose this one because most of the hiccups in life can be traced back to difficulties with understanding and implementing … Read more